Teens Scootering Legal on Alberta Roads

The reaction at our house was predictable, high fives and hooting and hollering between our two thirteen year old boys. We found out that the Government of Alberta changed the law to allow 14 year olds to ride 50cc scooters up to 70km/hr alone on Alberta roads. This change opens up some scooters to our teens which were previously prohibited because of their weight and speed. The Alberta Government harmonized our legislation with Federal guidelines, and we now join Quebec in allowing 14 year olds to ride the bigger, faster scooters. So while our teens will have to wait until they are 16 to drive a car without another driver present, they will be able to tool around on their scooters alone which opens up a world of independence. Our two boys and even my 11 year old daughter are thrilled and are already drooling over their choice of ride. But do we really want to let our boys out into the wild of Albertan drivers, especially frustrated Calgary drivers? Do we want to expose our kids to such risk? An article posted by the CBC on their website introducing the new law brought just as many favourable reader comments as unfavourable. Parents will be weighing the decision to allow their teen to ride at 14 or not. Here are some of the factors which will be needed to make the best choice for each teen.

The new law states that a 14 year old must obtain their learners permit (Class 7) from Alberta Motor Vehicles in order to ride. This consists of taking a vision test and a written test on the rules of the road. Service Alberta has driver training manuals and practice tests on their website. ¹ Parents need to note too that insurance, registration and a motorcycle helmet are required. The scooters themselves are made by all of the name brand motorcycle companies such as Yamaha, Honda, Kawasaki as well as some Italian companies like Piaggio and Vespa. Chinese or Taiwanese made scooters should be avoided until their quality improves. All scooters need to be equipped with a headlamp, tail lamp, brake lamp, reflectors, brakes, horn, muffler and mirror. Since these vehicles are low speed you must ride on the right side of the road, unless you are making a left turn. Under the age of 16 kids cannot carry a passenger.

One of the considerations to be made is how experienced your teen is with a scooter. Familiarity with the scooter controls and knowledge of rules of the road will be critical. In the press release even the Alberta Government recognized that the biggest risk for new riders is their unfamiliarity with the controls and handling characteristics of small vehicles. They are lighter, less stable and more vulnerable in a crash. Our boys have some experience riding small vehicles, having grown up riding dirt bikes and ATVs offroad, however this is not the case for all teens, especially kids from the city. For those who have no riding experience and/or parents who want their teen to get extra training and experience before riding, the Calgary Safety Council² offers a Scooter Training Course. This course is offered over three nights, one night is spent in the classroom and two nights are on scooters in their practice street area which is set up with a road course complete with intersections and lights, etc. We are going to insist that our boys successfully complete this course! We are also lucky in that both my husband and I have our motorcycle licences so we will ride along with our kids for the first few rides and then from time to time to ensure that they are riding safely. It helps that we live in fairly quiet traffic areas. For those without a motorcycle they could follow their teen in a car or go to a big empty parking lot and supervise a practice session. Anything to improve parents' comfort level to see how well the teens can actually ride.

Statistics show that most scooter accidents are caused when another driver makes a right or left turn in front of them, or when another driver changes lanes into them. Scooters are relatively small and quiet so ensuring visibility is paramount. In fact, according to Ken Condon, acclaimed motorcycle safety expert, this is the top concern. ³ In his new book he says that wearing bright clothing and having a bright helmet (white being the most visible) are most important. He also urges riders to ride within their abilities, do not attempt any risky maneuvers. Don't ride too close to any other vehicle. Learn to recognize and manage high risk situations such as when a driver is distracted talking on their cell phone, give them a wide berth. Sharpen your visual awareness while driving. Remember to look where you want to go, not where you don't want to go. Understand the traction of a scooter, avoid gravel patches if at all possible or slow down and ride over them straight. Purchasing this book, or a Scooters for Dummies-type book would also be a benefit to your teen, and it might actually get them reading!

Finally, the big consideration for parents will be "is my kid ready for this"? Is your child mature and responsible enough to understand the risks and manage them appropriately? With the independence can they be trusted to go where they say they are going to go and come back on time? Many have commented on the CBC article by saying there is no way they are going to allow their kid on the road with our crazy traffic and drivers.⁴ A scooter dealer commented that "[Scooters] are not speed demons. The irresponsible typically don't ride scooters. That's the truth of it. The irresponsible think that [scooters] are nerdy. The responsible think they are practical." We are going to wait and see. Once our kids turn 14, if they are still chomping at the bit to get a scooter we will execute our training plans and if they pass to our satisfaction they will be riding on their own to school next spring!




Andrea Garnier Spongberg is a Calgary writer and a mother of three tweens who is looking forward to doing less chauffeuring!

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¹ servicealberta.ab.gov.ca

² www.calgarysafetycouncil.com

³ Condon, Ken. Riding in the Zone: Advanced Techniques for Skillful Motorcycling, 2008.

⁴ www.cbc.ca Teenage Albertans gain more moped options, July 2, 2009

This article was originally published in the August/September issue of the Western Parent, 2009

So You Think You Can Date

When my son turned 13 yesterday I took a peek into the future and scared myself silly! Eeek! My baby out on a real alone-time date in a year or so?! Is he ready? Am I ready? Stop this time machine, I want to get off! Of course we all know we cannot stop time, as much as we would love to. So I am making myself a list and checking it twice to ensure that we have covered all the bases before he gets his crack at them!

Parents need to prepare their teenagers well for this all important step into the world of relationships. Schools generally are providing information on sexuality and healthy relationships to kids however parents need to provide specific guidance based on your teen's unique situation and issues. Read through the material being used by the schools to give you an idea of what you are dealing with and where your ideas may converge or differ. I have listed two such websites used by the Calgary Board of Education. Communication with a teen is primarily an exercise in listening. Position yourself as approachable and conversational and be sure to add a good measure of humour. Ask open-ended questions while sharing your relationship wisdom and values. If you have non-negotiables let them know, as it pertains to such issues as sex (safe or none) or curfews. Studies show that children who feel they can talk with their parents about sex and relationships are less likely to engage in high-risk behaviour.

The difference between boys and girls at this stage is well documented. According to a Penn State study in 1999, girls were found to have intimacy skills, while boys were found lacking. This "makes boys more vulnerable because they fall in love faster. They also take breaking up harder than girls"¹. Parents should watch for boys getting stressed by the prospects of dating and provide them with an out, letting them know that it is ok to go at their own pace. On the other hand, girls tend to have a larger social investment in dating. When my son's friend threatened to break up with his girlfriend on the day of the school dance I reminded him to think of her feelings and status, not just his own. Girls need to be reminded there is more to life than just boys and their Facebook relationship status. Although most teen romantic relationships do not last, first romances are considered practice for more mature bonds in adulthood and can lead to satisfying, committed relationships in early adulthood.²

The shocking news of singer Chris Brown assaulting his popstar girlfriend Rihanna hit the headlines and gave parents an unfortunate teachable moment to discuss how relationships, especially early ones, need to be free of abuse of any kind. Surveys are showing that young women between the ages of 16 and 24 are the most likely to be abused.³ Our current economic climate is not helping matters and domestic abuse is on the rise. Calgary officials estimate three to five children in each classroom in our city has witnessed some sort of family violence. If you are in a relationship, are you providing a healthy model for your teenager to pattern from? It is important to remember your actions speak louder than words. Rihanna's ordeal has generated more resources being available to teens online. One example is Loveisrespect.org, a teen dating abuse helpline. I put a dollar store plaque in the kitchen to remind us that Love Blooms Where Kindness is Planted.

Finally, take the time to sit back and assess your teen's readiness to date. Is he or she a well-rounded individual with their own sense of identity? Do they possess a good amount of self-respect, self-confidence and self-esteem? Does he/she have knowledge of appropriate dating behaviour? Have they successfully participated in "early dating"? Are their friends starting to date? Do they understand the nuances between love, lust and infatuation? I know this is alot to throw out there, but the carefully considered answers to these questions in your own mind will help you start to travel down the path to allowing your teen to "alone date". Try to address any outstanding issues with your teen well before the inevitable request to date is made. Counselling may be helpful, and a wealth of resources and information can be found on the internet using the power of Google, both for parent and teens.

Apprehensive parents can take heart in a recent teen survey reported by Maclean's in Canada, teens are less sexually active than in the 1990s, condom use is up and teen pregnancy rates are declining.⁴
The main motivation here seems to be a desire to create a stable adult life. Teenagers doing what they are told? What a concept! Or are they wanting what their parents were unable to provide for them? Either way our next generation seems to be turning into the healthy, responsible adults we all are hoping for.


Here are some websites the CBE teachers are using as teaching resources:

www.teachingsexualhealth.ca
www.sexualityandu.ca

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¹ Journal of Youth and Adolescence, Vol.28, No 4, 1999

² Teens and Dating: Tips for Parents and Professionals. University of Florida. 2006

³ Parents can use Rhianna's bad example to teach kids a lesson, Calgary Sun, March 14, 2009

⁴ Generation Tame, Maclean's, April 13, 2009

originally published in the June/July 2009 issue of the Western Parent

Tween/Teen Early Dating Decisions

"In spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love" opined Lord Alfred Tennyson.  He got it wrong for our house where spring is springing but our young men are not the least bit fanciful, let alone thinking of love!  Our young teen is more or less oblivious to the opposite sex and the other soon-to-be teen is fending girls off with disinterested texts all the while filling his phone with bikini pix.  Our tween daughter is another story.  She and many of the girls in grade 6 are consumed with who is "going out" with who and updating their Facebook relationship status lines. Is this just innocent play?  Some parents of friends don't appear to think so and have pre-emptively set rules forbidding dating until after high school. What is going on?  Is my daughter growing up too fast?  Are my sons growing up too slow?  Who knew there would be dating in grade 6?  My first boyfriend was in grade 8!  I must admit I felt a little out of the loop, so I did some online sleuthing to get up to speed.  

I found that there is a stage of dating which is called early dating for kids aged 10 to 14.  This stage begins with 10 to 12 year olds using the term "dating" to refer to simply liking someone.  "Going out" usually involves a boy and a girl hanging out together within their social groups at recess and lunch at school.  Not surprisingly, every kid is different going through these stages depending upon their maturity, hormones, role models and upbringing. Behaviour modelling may have a role to play here.  My son in a small town grade K to 8 school is not seeing couples and has not engaged in early dating.  My two kids in a suburban middle school are seeing lots of couples in grades 8 and 9 and may be modelling that behaviour.  Girls tend to mature faster than boys and will generally encourage boys to engage in early dating as early as grade 5.  Some boys will refuse outright and some will reluctantly join in, while others will participate wholeheartedly.  These types of relationships should not be a source of concern for parents as long as the kids are not seeking out "alone time".  Dating in a group is the most healthy forum for tweens and teens to learn more about themselves and their "date". Unfortunately some experiences at this age may colour later attitudes, such as our son's experience of being unceremoniously "dumped" and then ridiculed by a group of girls. It is easy to see that there will be alot of confusion and uncertainty at this stage.   Parents should encourage respectful behaviour even at this early stage of dating to set the stage for healthy relationships in the future.

As kids get older they still should be discouraged from spending unsupervised alone time with each other until at least the age of 14, according to Dr. David Elkind, professor of child study at Tufts University.  Kids younger than 14 do not have the social and interpersonal skills that are required in dating situations.(1)  Alone time in early dating can lead to several problems.  Kid's relationship skills will stay superficial, they will spend less time with same-sex friends, and their personal identity will be underdeveloped and perhaps remain that way.  A teen's main job in life is to establish their identity.  This task of self-discovery can be guided by education, experiences, environment and coaching.  If a teen is overly involved with another person this process may be skewed.  Early sexual experimentation may result as well, simply due to long term closeness and boredom, but also due to peer pressure.  Younger teens are more susceptible to peer pressure than older kids who have a more well-developed sense of who they are and what they want for their life.   Experts agree that people need a sense of personal identity before they can be really close to another person.

It all comes down to communication between kid and parent throughout these trying times, which is often difficult and yet essential.  Parents need to develop techniques which will work for their own unique tween/teen.  Some will chat away about their "love life" while others will need to be asked specific questions about their day and about who is a part of their tween/teen's life.  Keeping an eye on your kids' Facebook or Myspace pages can provide clues as well, leading to conversations and teachable moments.   Throughout these trying times in a tween/teen's life it is important for parents to watch for opportune times to express your love and admiration for your child.  Parents can also encourage healthy group activities, inviting kids over for pizza and movies in a supervised setting, or going bowling together.  Perhaps an older twentyish sibling or family friend could supervise if kids find a parental presence too stifling.  These experiences will help tweens/teens learn how to positively relate to each other in settings outside of school and will set the stage for healthy "alone" dating when they are older.

(1)  "Deciding about Early Dating" prepared by Virginia Molgaard, Iowa State University specialist in human development and family life, November 1995 (web document)

For further information here are some good websites:

kidshelpphone.ca:  section on dating

connectwithkids.com: information and parent forums

kidshealth.org: information for parents and kids


Andrea Garnier Spongberg is a full time mom in a blended family and part time writer who blends her life in Calgary and Rocky Mountain House.






This was originally published in The Western Parent magazine, April/May issue, 2009

An Online Video Game Primer for Parents

The Christmas lists in our house this year are filled with video games and their accessories, not unlike many of our friends' houses. The video game industry is a multi-billion dollar industry, extremely popular with a wired generation and increasingly so for a generation raised on board games. However a modern tragedy which recently occurred back east has cast a pall of parental trepidation over online video gaming. A family struggled with doing the right thing for their online video game obsessed son, and his accidental death after he ran away from home has got us all wondering if we are doing the right thing for our children. I must admit this story hit close to home for us, since all 5 of us (mum, dad and three pre-teens) enjoy online gaming and the internet. It sparked discussion, teachable moments and some soul searching as a parent. In addition I heard anecdotally of a backlash against online video gaming, saying the games are addictive, violent and rife with predators. Some parents pulled the plug on their games while others took a stand, not allowing them to be set up in the future. Obviously every parent has the right to determine what is best for their family. With the rapid onslaught of online video gaming there is much to be considered in making informed choices, so I thought I would run through the information I took into consideration when making the decision to continue to allow my children to play online video games.

Our children are the first generation of "digital natives", as opposed to us older "digital immigrants". It will be their generation which will figure out how to actually use the digital tools that have been created. The MacArthur Foundation in the US recently released a study suggesting that teenagers and their online social world tends to be downplayed as strictly recreational by many adults, when in actual fact their online world is a new kind of a social dynamic which is rapidly evolving. The study claims that "spending time online is essential for young people to pick up the social and technical skills they need to be competent citizens in the digital age." Facebook, MySpace and online video gaming are all part of this online social world. I was amazed to see my son play Halo 3 online on his Xbox 360 with a friend who had recently moved to Costa Rica, talking the whole time on their headsets back and forth like they were sitting together on the couch. He can just as easily play with his friends in Calgary, each sitting in their respective houses. Often times he has friends come over and he teaches them how to play while they are online with other friends. This has become a major socialization skill and ordering tool apparently. He has even set tangible goals for himself like improving his gamerscore to 10,000 by Christmas. My daughter plays Stardoll, an online doll dress up site, wildly popular with tween girls. By using the chat component, she was able to help a fellow player from Argentina work through an english assignment and she in turn helped my daughter with her spanish homework. My boys have spent many hours watching and creating YouTube videos featuring parodies, glitches and tips relating to the video games they play. The gameplay and the internet itself allows for creativity and self-directed learning. Games like Guitar Hero and Rock Band have introduced them to a whole discography I only could have hoped they would listen to. Even basic skills like eye-hand coordination have improved. All of these skills will be needed in their future.

Reaching a comfort level to have the kids independently using these games did not happen overnight. Countless hours were and are spent monitoring play. Teaching net etiquette and safety while online are crucial. These are great opportunities to spend time with your child, and playing online with them is even better! Our kids know to not respond to questions outside of the realm of gameplay unless they are certain they know who they are talking to. Beware of internet "trolls" who may just want to provoke or disrupt normal gameplay or discussion. They know to never give out personal information and never ever to meet an online contact in person without a parent present. There are parental controls on game consoles which can be adjusted depending on the age and maturity of your child. Games are rated by the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) as to their age levels. Everyone can play E rated games, however T(een) and M(ature) games can be more graphic and/or violent. It is up to you and your family to decide what games are appropriate for you. There are thousands to choose from so rest assured if there is a conflict there will be alternatives to offer. For every study claiming video game violence encourages real life violence, there is another study claiming violent games show the consequences of such behaviour. We learned the hard way to not associate a credit card with your Xbox Live account. Simply purchase online play card at your local gaming store. These games teach a great deal about patience when it comes to set up and on-going connectivity! Being part of a new technology involves a learning curve with bumps along the way. We had Shaw crank our internet speed up a notch to prevent lag in gameplay. We have struggled with time limits for gameplay. A three hour stint should be the maximum. The initial attraction to a game will generally fall away as time goes on and/or once game points have been achieved, only to be replaced by a new game. Some rules are carved in stone: game playing does not interfere with school, homework or extra-curricular activities such as soccer and dance, as well as games should be wound up at least one hour before bed to allow the brain to prepare for sleep. Reading books is an appropriate before bed activity once teeth are brushed and pjs are on.

Instead of closing the door entirely and potentially denying children the chance to join their peer group online, parents can and should educate themselves and subsequently assist their children learn safe and healthy ways to play online video games. This skill is now a crucial component of your child's life and they will appreciate your interest and your guidance.


The MacArthur Foundation
http://www.macfound.org


Andrea Garnier Spongberg is a full time mum in a blended family and part time writer/accountant living in both urban and rural Alberta.